The “L” word has entered my life again.

The first date

Back on March 6, 2014 I had a date with a cute little red head that I met on Plenty of Fish.  I had pretty much given up on online dating at this point, but when “Sarah” replied to my initial email and said she’d be willing to meetup for a glass of wine – I figured “what do I have to lose?”

that initial date turned out to be a VERY GOOD date.  Sarah and I hit if off and the conversation was not lacking.

Over the course of the next couple of weeks, we saw each other a few more times.  I learned that Sarah was a Yoga instructor (I am not a “YOGA GUY”) and a hair stylist.  I learned that she liked the outdoors and even though she grew up skiing, she hasn’t skied in years.  As we got to know each other, I discovered that I really liked her.  Amongst other things, she has a kind heart, is adventurous, supportive, and loving. She is a caring individual and her group of friends love her.  I have loved, from the very beginning, how our differences challenge me to open my mind and grow.  I am not a “spiritual” person by any means, but I’m amazed at how 2 people can come together to support and learn from each other so perfectly.

About 3 months after we met, Sarah met my sisters.  We traveled to Portland together for the weekend.  Me introducing (or even wanting to introduce) Sarah to my family was a big step for me.  I was not nervous, but at the same time this was a big step.  Especially for me because, prior to meeting Sarah, I had really embraced the single life.  Actually, I love being single.

A summer of fun

This summer has been a blast.  I haven’t done much running but I’ve climbed 2 1/2 mountains (my first).  I climbed Mount St Helens on Mothers day… I climbed to Camp Muir on Mt Rainier (the 1/2 a mountain climb I referenced since Camp Muir is not at the top of Mount Rainier)…and then I climbed Mt Adams (a summit of over 12,000 feet) with some friends.

Sarah and I also went backpacking.  Our first outing was a 10 mile trek up Marmot Pass on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington.

 

It was Sarah’s first time hiking that far with the weight of a pack on her back.  About 3 miles into the climb, I thought she was going to hate me forever but then we came to a clearing near the top of the mountain and the views were spectacular.  We stopped and were taking it all in when Sarah turned to me and softly said “thank you”.  That stands as one of my favorite moments so far.

The Enchantments

About a month later – we embarked on a 4 day hike into “The Enchantments” with my little sis Britt, her boyfriend Rob and my friend Dylan.

“The Enchantments” are, in my opinion, the most beautiful place in Washington.  Day’s 1 and 2 were no big deal (in terms of hiking difficulty), but Day 3 was a killer.  We had to tackle Aasgard Pass with a lot of weight on our backs.  It was equally difficult as it was amazing!  I think both Sarah and my little sister were ready to kill me for taking them on this part of the hike.  We all made it though and have memories that will last a lifetime.

A perfect night

Last night, Sarah was over at my house for dinner and to watch a movie.  As we were sitting in the living room I glanced out the window and saw the most beautiful orange moon sitting low in the sky.  Sarah loves the moon.  I said “Sarah – stop what you are doing and look out the window”.  She did and was enthralled.  I live in a town that has a “Harbor” but from my place I don’t have a great view of the water.  Just a little peak a boo view.  So we decided to drive down to the water (about 1 mile away) and get a better view.

Moon1

As we stood in a little waterfront park admiring the moon and it’s reflection on the water in front of us, Sarah turned to me and said “Are you going to freak out if I tell you I love you?”  I was silent and didn’t say anything.  Then, as I always do, I started analyzing the situation.  I remembered (a great accomplishment for me with my memory issues) that over the last month of so there have been a couple of times where I was VERY CLOSE to telling Sarah that I loved her.  However, I didn’t want to say it back because it’s expected, I wanted to tell her I love her when I felt like telling her.

So I asked her if she was disappointed that I didn’t say it back.  She said, in that perfectly Sarah way, “of course not honey”.  I love that about her.  She lives her life without expectations and doesn’t judge or play “head games”.  I knew that she had told me she loved me because she meant it, and that there was no expectations behind it.  I then explained that I have been scared of the “L” word for a while now. Scared to fall in Love again.  Scared of getting hurt.  Scared that falling in love again would mean the end of my single life, and the freedoms that in entailed.  The single life that was so hard to get comfortable with, but that I had grown to love.

I then explained to her that I’ve never felt as though I was letting go of who I was with her.  That I always felt supported in my endeavors, and that I love that she broadens my horizons.  She said to me that she also loves that I broaden hers.  We truly do compliment each other very well with just enough in common with each other, and the perfect amount of differences to learn and grow from each other.

After this conversation, I turned to her and whispered “I love you too”.

The future

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I don’t feel (and never have felt) any pressure from Sarah.  The fact that this relationship has been both drama and pressure free is yet another thing I love about it.  We are not living our lives by some list of things that are supposed to happen at certain points along the way.  We are living in the moment and allowing it to take us wherever it may.  I do know that I look forward to the future and can’t wait to see where Sarah and I end up.  Funny how love has a way of finding you when you least expect it.

Written by Muskrat37

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